Review: Public Enemies (Michael Mann, 2009)

I'm a big fan of Michael Mann. All Miami Vice-related criticism aside, that guy has crafted some of the cooles shootouts I've seen since playing the Bunker level in GoldenEye '64. His latest project - the Jonny Depp-starring Public Enemies - is certainly no exception; though definitely not his best (The Insider is still one of my all time faves), Enemies is an engaging and surprisingly humorous glimpse into the life of notorious bank robber and apparent badass of the century, John Dillinger.

What Works: This one's obvious. As always, Depp is very good as Dillinger, bringing us a character who is equal parts vulnerable, maniacal, and amusingly charismatic, all while sporting a slick 1930s "hipster" accent. He's certainly not perfect, and there are definitely moments where it feels like he's phoning it in, but in the end, if you don't see this movie for any other reason, just go to watch Johnny Depp do his thing. I truly hate him for how likable he is.

What Doesn't Work: This one might be up for debate, but I wasn't feeling Marion Cotillard as Dillinger's girlfriend, Billie Frechette. While she's definitely a great actress in many respects, she just doesn't fit into her role in this one. Every time she's on screen, her accent shows through, and it sometimes detracts from the dramatic effect of her dialogue during important moments. That being said, her relationship with Dillinger still carries a great deal of depth and believability, and she also earns brownie points for being able to multitask (she's hot, naked, and inside a bathtub at the same time. Now that's acting, folks).

What Works: Hand-held cameras. Mann uses them, and I love them. Every sequence, especially those that consist of Dillinger breaking out of prison (that's right...there's more than one), is infused with a sense of urgency and movement that keeps the film fast-paced and engaging, even during the most expository scenes.

What Doesn't Work: HD cameras. I know it's weird, but digital cinematography nowadays is becoming way too perfect. The picture in this movie is so clear that sometimes you can actually see the makeup on characters' faces, and for some reason I'd just rather believe that bank robbers don't put on makeup before pulling off heists (unless they happen to wear smiley-shaped facial scars, in which case it's totally forgivable).

What Works: Two words...shoot outs. I'm serious man, the gunfights in this movie are the kind that make you cover your mouth and yell, "Oh, shit!" while inadvertently kicking the seat in front of you. I don't know if guns can actually cause people's chests to burst open like that, but if they can, then 50 Cent is a liar and we should stop supporting substandard mainstream music by purchasing his albums.

On The Fence: Christian Bale. I could go either way here...personally, I didn't have a problem with his performance as FBI hotshot Melvin Purvis, but then again, I was going to be happy no matter what (as long as he didn't use the Batman voice again...his John Connor may as well have been Bruce Wayne's idiot twin brother). His role in this film isn't necessarily huge, although it's definitely important and provides an ample amount of suspense for the "cat and mouse" narrative that Mann is creating. Some people in the theater said they liked him, others said they didn't. Personally, I just hate him because he's married to Sibi Blazic, who clearly would be interested in me if she didn't have him standing in the way.

What Works: The guy sitting next to me in the theater. This dude was four feet tall, wore a tuxedo, called himself Mr. Diamond (I'm not kidding), and intermittently yelled things like, "Oh, that mother fucker's dead!" whenever somebody died. I highly recommend seeing a movie with this guy if you ever get the chance.

All In All: Public Enemies is a good film. Not great, but definitely good. At two and a half hours, it moves along quickly and never feels tedious. Filled with decent performances, fresh direction, gorgeous production design, and a great deal of well-placed humor, it's definitely a refreshing break from the mindless summer action fare we're all used to.

Overall Rating: 7/10

Review: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (David Yates, 2009)

Review: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)

I'm the guy who you typically see walking out of Harry Potter movies with his nose in the air, spouting off about how "the book was way better" and never getting hit with a spear like you usually wish he would. So it's no surprise that I was totally ready for Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince to conjure up a whole new level of suck that I had never even seen before. But as it turns out, I didn't have much to worry about.

Not only did I like HP6... I loved it. This movie is orgasmic; by far the best one since number three, no question. It's a near perfect rendering of the novel onscreen, and I attribute much of that to the return of writer Steve Kloves (who penned numbers one through four before taking a much-needed pass on number five). That being said, as in any other film, there were things that worked and things that didn't, so let me outline some of the ones that stood out the most:

What Worked: The performances. This is the first time that I've actually watched a Harry Potter movie and thought, "Wow... these kids can really act." (Coincidentally, it's also the first time I've watched one and thought, "Hermoine Granger gives me a boner.") Seriously, each one of these kids has grown into a fantastic actor; Daniel Radcliffe is in tip top form as the titular Harry, even getting to show off his comedic chops every once in a while (which is a huge relief... in the last one he was about as funny as a Dane Cook movie). Other great performances come from Rupert Grint as the scene-stealing Ron, Tom Felton as Draco Malfoy, Hero Fiennes-Tiffin as the young Tom Riddle (aka Lord Voldemort), and Emma Watson as the hot chick who talks for some reason.

What Didn't Work: The love scenes between Harry and Ginny Weasley. The two of them have chemistry, don't get me wrong - but I simply can't keep a straight face when they're forced to whisper sugary shit to each other. "Take my hand..." should only be said when helping elderly women cross the street. Which I do regularly, by the way.

What Worked: The plot. Though this movie does feel more like a transition between chapters than a story all on its own, it's nonetheless an absolute blast to simply spend time with these characters and watch them grow up. There's something relatable and nostalgic about this film that separates it from the atrocity that was Order of the Phoenix, and in the end we don't need a particularly thrilling climax to realize that we're having a really, really good time.

On The Fence: The score. Composer Nicholas Hooper, who penned the last film's soundtrack to frustrating results, picks up where he left off with some interesting (and somewhat improved) new themes, as well as a number of much-appreciated references to those previously established by John Williams and Patrick Doyle. This one is way darker than Order of the Phoenix, which is certainly a welcome change, but for some reason it lacks the stylistic connections between songs that the original three were so deftly able to create. I'm up in the air on this one; if you know any other soundtrack geeks, be sure to ask them what they think.

What Worked: Luna Lovegood!!! This girl (played by Evanna Lynch) is absolutely brilliant, stealing every moment onscreen by injecting well-delivered moments of comic relief into a story that's already quite amusing on its own. As far as this one goes, she definitely wins my vote for best supporting character (although Sirius Black takes it for the totality of the series).

What Didn't Work: People letting their babies throw up in the goddamn movie theater. I mean seriously, what the hell. The fucking thing's been crying for the last twelve minutes; what could possibly make you think it's acceptable for it to still be in the building? (And yes, I'm calling the baby "it." Trust me - you didn't see the shit that came out of this creature's mouth.)

All In All: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is a fantastic ride. Director David Yates has crafted an extremely well balanced film, juggling elements of drama and humor to create an audience-pleasing summer flick driven almost entirely by its character performances and beautiful imagery.

Overall Rating: 8/10

Review: Star Trek (J.J. Abrams, 2009)

Before you read any further, know this: I love aliens. I love them more than you could ever possibly understand; it's literally at the point where if I had to choose between meeting an alien or getting a two-way handjob from Scarlett Johansen and Megan Fox in a gold-plated hot tub...I might actually have some trouble making a decision. I'd still probably go with the handjob, but I'd be really, really conflicted about it.

So needless to say, I'm the ideal audience member for a movie like Star Trek. And I'm happy to report that in that respect, it definitely didn't disappoint. In fact, it was hands down the most fun I've had at the movies this year. But like every other film, it had its high points and lows, so let me outline some of the one that I felt stuck out the most:

What Worked: Christopher Pine as Captain James Kirk. I'm telling you right now: this guy is absolutely destined to be the next big thing in Hollywood. His performance in this movie is charismatic, charming, and often times startlingly funny...he brings to the table the exact kind of central character that a megabudget crowd-pleasing summer flick needs to to have. Funtastic performances also come from Eric Bana as the dickheaded mega-villain Nero, Simon Pegg as the delightfully funny Scotty, and John Cho as the extremely likeable Sulu.

What Didn't Work: Normally, I'm a fan of this kid Anton Yelchin. He was great in Charlie Bartlett, and I thought his performance as a teenaged kidnap victim in Alpha Dog was criminally underrated. But in this one, he's annoying every time he's onscreen. His character, Pavel Chekov, has this thick, cringe-inducing Russian accent that sounds so fake it might as well be Victoria Beckham's facial muscles. I mean come on, Anton...you were born in Russia! My uncle's accent is more believable and he took a vow of silence like thirty years ago.

What Worked: The action. Go see this movie for the special effects, no joke. Industrial Light & Magic (visual effects company headed by George Lucas) is in tip-top form this time around, creating some of the most mind-boggling outer space battle sequences I've seen since Star Wars, Episode IV. (Bold statement, I know, but what do we really have to compare it to...Battlefield Earth?) The movie's pacing is consistently brisk, and we get an extensive action sequence about every twenty minutes or so. The ending is a bit anticlimactic, but come on, who cares as long as we're having fun, right?

What Didn't Work: The action. Now before you get all confused, let me explain: For some reason, director Abrams makes a habit of throwing these totally random action sequences into the story that have nothing to do with the actual plot of the film. Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with this...but it really is true that these scenes are much less fun than the ones that actually matter to the story. And this makes sense, I suppose; action is always cool, but it's definitely way cooler when there's a reason for it (we all remember Pirates III, right?).

What Worked: The story. Writers Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci are starting to become synonymous with the big-budget summer movie (they also wrote the two Transformers flicks, as well as Mission: Impossible III and Michael Bay's regrettably dull The Island - which I'm sure was much better on paper). In Star Trek, they wipe the slate completely clean, creating a whole new vision of an already interesting universe and then populating it with characters that we come to like very quickly.

What Didn't Work: Maybe I'm too much of a fanboy. But seriously...this movie does not have enough hot chicks in it. Now don't get me wrong: Zoe Saldana is a total babe in her role as the uber-hottie Uhura, but that's not even close to enough to sustain us through the sausage fest that ensues outside her little oasis of eye candy. I'm not saying we need to have any low-brow nudity (this isn't a Sharon Stone movie...), but can we at least get Starfleet to recruit some more female soldiers and kindly provide them with something sexier than these loose, mesh-made turtlenecks that everyone seems to be wearing? I don't feel like I'm asking that much; I mean, even Life Size had cleavage in it and that was a Disney Channel Original.

All In All: Star Trek is action packed fun; visually stunning and easy to follow, it's everything we could ever want out of a summer blockbuster.

Overall Rating: 8.5/10