Before you read any further, know this: I love aliens. I love them more than you could ever possibly understand; it's literally at the point where if I had to choose between meeting an alien or getting a two-way handjob from Scarlett Johansen and Megan Fox in a gold-plated hot tub...I might actually have some trouble making a decision. I'd still probably go with the handjob, but I'd be really, really conflicted about it.
So needless to say, I'm the ideal audience member for a movie like Star Trek. And I'm happy to report that in that respect, it definitely didn't disappoint. In fact, it was hands down the most fun I've had at the movies this year. But like every other film, it had its high points and lows, so let me outline some of the one that I felt stuck out the most:
What Worked: Christopher Pine as Captain James Kirk. I'm telling you right now: this guy is absolutely destined to be the next big thing in Hollywood. His performance in this movie is charismatic, charming, and often times startlingly funny...he brings to the table the exact kind of central character that a megabudget crowd-pleasing summer flick needs to to have. Funtastic performances also come from Eric Bana as the dickheaded mega-villain Nero, Simon Pegg as the delightfully funny Scotty, and John Cho as the extremely likeable Sulu.
What Didn't Work: Normally, I'm a fan of this kid Anton Yelchin. He was great in Charlie Bartlett, and I thought his performance as a teenaged kidnap victim in Alpha Dog was criminally underrated. But in this one, he's annoying every time he's onscreen. His character, Pavel Chekov, has this thick, cringe-inducing Russian accent that sounds so fake it might as well be Victoria Beckham's facial muscles. I mean come on, Anton...you were born in Russia! My uncle's accent is more believable and he took a vow of silence like thirty years ago.
What Worked: The action. Go see this movie for the special effects, no joke. Industrial Light & Magic (visual effects company headed by George Lucas) is in tip-top form this time around, creating some of the most mind-boggling outer space battle sequences I've seen since Star Wars, Episode IV. (Bold statement, I know, but what do we really have to compare it to...Battlefield Earth?) The movie's pacing is consistently brisk, and we get an extensive action sequence about every twenty minutes or so. The ending is a bit anticlimactic, but come on, who cares as long as we're having fun, right?
What Didn't Work: The action. Now before you get all confused, let me explain: For some reason, director Abrams makes a habit of throwing these totally random action sequences into the story that have nothing to do with the actual plot of the film. Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with this...but it really is true that these scenes are much less fun than the ones that actually matter to the story. And this makes sense, I suppose; action is always cool, but it's definitely way cooler when there's a reason for it (we all remember Pirates III, right?).
What Worked: The story. Writers Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci are starting to become synonymous with the big-budget summer movie (they also wrote the two Transformers flicks, as well as Mission: Impossible III and Michael Bay's regrettably dull The Island - which I'm sure was much better on paper). In Star Trek, they wipe the slate completely clean, creating a whole new vision of an already interesting universe and then populating it with characters that we come to like very quickly.
What Didn't Work: Maybe I'm too much of a fanboy. But seriously...this movie does not have enough hot chicks in it. Now don't get me wrong: Zoe Saldana is a total babe in her role as the uber-hottie Uhura, but that's not even close to enough to sustain us through the sausage fest that ensues outside her little oasis of eye candy. I'm not saying we need to have any low-brow nudity (this isn't a Sharon Stone movie...), but can we at least get Starfleet to recruit some more female soldiers and kindly provide them with something sexier than these loose, mesh-made turtlenecks that everyone seems to be wearing? I don't feel like I'm asking that much; I mean, even Life Size had cleavage in it and that was a Disney Channel Original.
All In All: Star Trek is action packed fun; visually stunning and easy to follow, it's everything we could ever want out of a summer blockbuster.
Overall Rating: 8.5/10
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